Showing posts with label satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label satire. Show all posts
Thursday, 8 May 2014
The Captcha Encounter
Whenever, I try to comment on any blog and encounter the Captcha, my heart skips a beat.If you are brave enough to face so many artistically maligned, collapsed letters, then I salute your courage. I tremble when I see it and worse can never guess the letters in first attempt and sometimes, second or third.
It makes me think and I hate thinking, more so when it borders on introspection. Have I forgotten the alphabets? Now, I can sympathize with my Professor who had told me, he had difficulty understanding cursive writing. Maybe it’s nemesis. I shouldn’t have mocked such people.
There’s a chance that the problem doesn’t lie in my recollection of alphabets. There’s one explanation. Captcha is an amazing discovery to search robots intermingled with humans. I must be a robot. Are you having the same problem? Then, we, the robots should all unite against this Captcha. If you have seen many Hollywood movies, I don’t have to sketch our further plan to you. If not, rush to your nearest DVD store.
Do you use Captcha in your blog for filtering Spam? Are you an expert in Captcha recognition?
Do let me know your views on Captcha.
Tuesday, 18 March 2014
The curious case of Monday- Part 6
* This is the final part of the 'The curious case of Monday'. To understand the story, start from the part-1.
The last warning
God had almost lost His confidence in
humans to solve the Monday crisis. He decided to give them a last
chance. This time He sent emails to all nations and along with the
chiefs of their respective bureaucracies.
When they received an email from God,
there was a state of confusion. However, most of them were aware of
the prior email the UN had received, which added to their strain.
The wise old man
One of the senior-most member of a bureaucracy had read tales of the wise old man. If you are in the
habit of reading since your childhood and have read older folktales,
you might have come across the character, a wise, old man. It could
have been a wise, old woman, the gender not being the important
factor. This wise old man lives in a hut near the outskirts of a
remote village. The village can be a village in any country. In the
golden past, almost every village possessed one.
Alas, the modern times boast of the
scarcity of the character. There are still old men/women, but the
prefix wise was lost during the process of evolution some time after
the loss of the tail. However, the senior bureaucrat didn’t give up
hope. He searched far and wide, and found a wise old man in one of the
less developed villages.
Saturday, 15 March 2014
The curious case of Monday- Part 5
*This is a part of a story 'The curious case of Monday'. To understand the complete story start reading from the first part.
The Indian way
The Monday crisis was yet to be resolved when another country, India entered to solve the problem. Most people will be shocked that India is in fact going to participate actively in International problems. India, like other non-aligned movement nation loves to play fence politics in the international arena. That way they can make a lot of noise without having to take any action. Then, why has India decided to involve in this problem?Copyright on God
For thousands of years, we Indians have
some sort of a copyright on God. God might send His son or prophet to
some other countries but, when He Himself decides to descend, He
chooses India. India was offended when God sent an email to the
United Nations. What was wrong with regular means of communication
like aakashwani (speak through the skies/lightening.) or popping into
a seer’s dreams like He always does?
Though God had hurt their feelings,
India did not hold a grudge. Indians were ready to help God to solve
the Monday problem.
Monday Mahima
The politicians of India have a strange habit of scattering seeds, be it communalism or any other ideas. Mind you, they only scatter seeds, they leave watering the plant to the rest of the people. The seeds never take root unless, someone decides to water them.In this case, one of the politicians said, “Monday must be a form of God or his mockery wouldn’t reflect on ‘judgement day’.”
This idea was so appealing to the masses and media that they grabbed at it. Monday started appearing in Sadhus’ dreams. There appeared a Baba Somarasa who had taken diksha (spiritual education) from Monday himself. Hymns were composed reciting praises of Monday. Someone even took to compiling Monday Purana.
Thursday, 13 March 2014
The curious case of Monday- Part 4
*To understand this story, you need to start from the Part-1 where Monday is hurt by his ridicule and tries to resign as a day of the week.
The Capitalist way
“We could ask people to love Monday, at the least to like it.”
The President shook his head, “it won’t work.”
“We could make a law and make it imperative for the people to love Monday and stop its mockery.”
“We are a free nation,” the president began, “We don’t make unjust laws and force people. Liberty for us-”
“We should launch Operation Holy Monday.” The secretary of defence interrupted.
“Operation Holy Monday” the President said laying emphasis on each word, “seems fantastic. What is it?”
“Human rights are violated, it is imperative for us to intervene.”
For some time, nobody understood anything. Then, they saw he was pointing at a small country on the globe.
US is as much a supporter for the the protection of human rights as for liberty. As a glutton can't resist food, US can't help protecting human rights of people in the world outside the US.
“Operation Holy Monday, it is.” President nodded. "Monday will get it's respect back, soon."
Tuesday, 11 March 2014
The curious case of Monday- Part 3
*To understand this story, you need to start from the Part-1 where Monday is hurt by his ridicule and tries to resign as a day of the week.
The Socialist/ Communist way
The Russian prime minister thought about the Monday problem. He wasn’t suppose to believe in existence of God, but he wanted to be the one to solve the crisis. The solution seemed easy on the face of it, and there was a consensus in the Russian government regarding it’s worth. He decided to talk it over with China.
“We make a law protecting Monday from ridicule. People are bound to obey the laws.”
The Chinese prime minister had the same idea. “The laws are for the good of the people.” He said, “ but I don’t trust that email.”
The Russian Prime minister was restless. “You mean, they sent it?”
The other nodded. “I don’t think God sent it.”
“We could outwit them. We’ll take up Monday’s problem without involving God. Monday is a conscientious worker. Even if it’s a plant, he needs help.”
“We always stand by the working class.”
Wednesday, 5 March 2014
The curious case of Monday- Part 2
*To understand this story, you need to read the Part-1 where Monday is hurt by his ridicule and tries to resign as a day of the week.
Panic in the UN
The United Nations was in an uproar over an email supposedly sent by God. Though UN has always claimed to be the collective representative of the nations on the earth, this was the first time God had given any inclination of accepting the fact. Being their first time, as a messenger of God, they went into a panic.The first nation which got involved was the United States of America. Since both UN and USA share the prefix ‘united’, they tend to form an united front.
At first, everyone considered it as an ordinary prank. However, as the authorities failed to find the source from which the email originated, the prank was thought to be an ingenious plan to disturb world peace. Special emphasis was laid on the word ‘judgement’ which indicated the mail meant trouble.
Initially, everyone blamed unknown terrorist organisation but later, the countries of the UN started pointing fingers at each other. The US hinted at KGB without taking any names while Russia was positive about CIA involvement.
Many secret conferences and classified reports later, UN came to a conclusion it was more than a prank. Every clue pointed to non-human involvement.
It could be an alien ultimatum, the UN decided though no one could explain the strange interest of the aliens in the sentiments of Monday. Some religious countries leaned towards the idea that the email might have been sent by the Almighty Himself. However, this idea was disregarded due to lack of scientific proof.
Finally, there was a consensus in the UN that the matter needed urgent attention. It did not matter whether it was God or the aliens, it was an unknown power and the steps to resolve the conflict needed to be taken.
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